Corinne asked, “why go for someone younger that will be so co-dependent on you for everything when you can be with someone who is stable and independent?” And I responded…
In Why Men Date Younger Women in Their Own Words, Corinne commented:
“i think that older men or men in their 30′s forget that there are single women that have no baggage, that aren’t bitter, that have goals they want to attain, and still enjoy life and want no attachments. why go for someone younger that will be so co-dependent on you for everything when you can be with someone who is stable and independent. it just makes more sense. i wouldn’t want to be with someone younger just for that reason. I want common backgrounds, at least someone growing up from the same decade.”
And I responded:
“I think that when we’re looking for a wife, we men actually want someone who is dependent on us for everything, actuall, whereas when we’re looking for business partners and best friends, we look for someone “who is stable and independent.”
Don’t forget, that in the marriage ceremony, we are given you by your father. By the very nature of the ceremony of marriage, don’t we hope to get a woman who depends on us for everything?
Men want to be men, I think, and have the ability in a life where there are so few opportunities to be “the man,” I think men are looking to really have the opportunity to be the provider, to be the strong hunter, the cornerstone for the family.
Someone who is looked up to and admired as formidable and powerful by his little family.
I don’t know if stable and independent is something men ever consider as a selling point in a bride. Women should stop selling that as it is never anything that men are looking for in women, not when dating or when considering marriage.
We are afraid: we are afraid that we are non-essential, we’re afraid of being fungible, of being a sperm donor, of being the “wife” in the relationship. We are scared shit that you will end up rolling your eyes, regretting the decision, becoming bitter, nagging us, being disappointed, and not doing your job: providing the support it takes to make us the best men we can humanly become.
And of course we expect quid pro quo — we don’t expect this to just be one-way. We just want to make sure there is reciprocity from the get-go.
Otherwise, we feel like we’ll always be a disappointment to you and this feeling will either result in divorce, either out of your disappointment or because we push you away because we don’t feel the kind of sexual, emotional, personal, mental, and spiritual devostion — the adoration — we really in our heart of hearts, demand.
See, so that’s what is going on in our heads.”
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That’s nice that you are looking for unstable women. I will be sure to send some your way.
BTW, why does it say on the left that this was posted November 18, 2006 — yet on Twitter you call it a “new post?”
Take care,
Diane
Diane » Unfortunately, whenever I edit long-lost posts in order to add meta tags, it “reposts” to Twitter. Still a good article, though, isn’t it?
Riiiiight. Really, why should I disturb your delusion?
I’m afraid I do have to tell you I will not be sharing this with my feminist friends so you will not be getting the rise in page traffic you are so unceremoniously willing to stoop for.
Better luck next time.
Diane
Chris, my friend Roy recently said that after 25 women don’t get more experience, just more baggage. Not saying whether I agree, just reporting the news.
Diane » I am a feminist. And, I really don’t need any more page views. I don’t care about that. Thanks for dropping by, thought.
Chris » That is very interesting — thanks for commenting. Lord knows I have enough baggage for even a Texas Polygamist Cult just by myself!
Chris you are absolutely so right about that comment back. Just because you are young does NOT mean you are co-dependant n etc. Older women don’t understand that. Yes alot of younger girls are but there are a hand full that have their mind right onw track. Im a young female and my boyfriend is alot older then me. I have my career on track and rely on no one. Older many reason likewise with females and MONEY is not a factor.
Great blog chris.
Thanks so much, Shayla, and I appreciate the comment!
I see nothing wrong with men being attracted to younger women. Although, I would attribute it to biological responses. Men are attracted to health and fertility. The younger women are generally both.
P.S. I’m 40 so I’m old enough not to cry foul just because I want guys to date someone my age.
That is very bold. And I say, in response, I see nothing wrong with women being attracted to richer women. Same biological imperative.