Beware Your Resolutions

13VTC 300x296 Beware Your ResolutionsWhen wrote my New Year’s fitness resolution publicly on The Huffington Post, I forgot about unintended consequences as well as “The Secret.” Putting my New Year’s resolution into the world, obviously started a cascade of Oprah Winfrey-class Intention-Power! The Universe woke up and had its way with me.

My resolutions were pretty simple. One of them was just “get back onto my erg.”

As a lark and to make myself more accountable, I invited a couple Facebook friends to start a virtual rowing club, Team Grotto, populate a virtual 4-man boat, and sign up to compete in a virtual regatta, the 2013 Virtual Team Challenge.

Now, just a couple-few weeks into the new year I was putting in at least 20 minutes and 5,000 meters into the logbook with the goal of logging 10,000 meters every single day between January 1–31. And I, myself, was the weakest link in what turns out to be a fantastically strong (albeit virtual) boat.

rn900652 150x150 Beware Your ResolutionsOne of my teammates, who goes by Stephen Dee, turns out to be a rowing monster. He routinely gets on his “Model D” Indoor Rower (we call them ergs, or rowing ergometers) and pulls an “HM” (half marathon), a 21km, or even a FM (full marathon), a full 42km!

I have jumped from the frying pan into the rower!

It has become the only thing I have scheduled for my day’s down-time. I eat for rowing, I schedule my rowing, and I get a heck a lot of ribbing — and I feel a lot of guilt and responsibility and quite like the runt of the litter as a result.

Simply put, I started out just not remotely as strong as my three teammates — and I am actively going for someone who hasn’t really erged for years (yes, I have the rower, but it was basically a very expensive place to hang things, no matter how cliche that may be).

So, between starting dusting off my rowing machine on January 1, reaching out to Stephen, recruiting Douglas and Quintin, and then starting the race. It required me to blow out my rowing cobwebs, reconnecting with the all-powerful and important “stroke,” and then building up strength, cardio vascular endurance, and generally letting my body get used to this new daily abuse — all in fewer than four-weeks!

Just like that. Like with absolutely no forethought at all. Yikes!

So, how did we do? Team Grotto ended up being 79th place with a combined 1,291,378 meters and an average of 322,845 meters-per-rower — I think that’s pretty great, though I am sure that Stephen is frustrated by our ranking.

gottoRanking Beware Your Resolutions

It would have been much better, I guess, had I not gotten so bloody sick with sinusitis!  So, I really did bungle the second half of the race.  That said, it’s a life-marathon and not a sprint, right? As we go, I am getting stronger, more efficient, more comfortable, and definitely evermore vulnerable to chiding, guilt, encouragement, and camaraderie.

(Let me let you in on something: I am much more preface, forward, and introduction than chapter 1, so I think I am seriously surprised to suddenly find myself in a virtual boat on a virtual river in a virtual regatta rowing the longest and most persistent global race before I even was ready to commit to anything. Again, yikes! PS: Check it out, that’s me at 19, rowing for GW, my alma mater — glory days!)

chrisAbrahamCrewRower Beware Your Resolutions
So, while I may, for the time-being, be constantly tired, sore, and a little stinky, I am also becoming a globally competitive indoor rower racer while I am learning to race — I am not simply training for a race, I am training while I race.

There is no way I would have been able to self-motivate with this ferocity or commitment — and for that I am grateful and amazed. That said, I will also be much more careful the next time I put something like out there. Or not. If I have learned anything, hopefully not. Or, maybe not. Maybe if I knew what I was stumbling into I either wouldn’t have done it or I wouldn’t have done it just yet — until I was ready, prepared, fit. Maybe something that would never happen. So, while I highly recommend this level of team-accountability to anyone, I also warn you: if you take the leap, you had better be willing to row your talk.

If you need a quick kick in the pants, feel free to join our virtual rowing club over on Facebook, Team Grotto Virtual Rowing Club, whether you have a rower or not. If you have a Concept II, please feel free to join our open team, Team Grotto — I am happy to upgrade to an 8 or more; you’re welcome to use the log the rowers in your gym, and, when you’re ready to commit, hit up Craig’s List as there’s always a used Concept 2 for sale in your area; or, of course, just head over to Concept 2 and order one of your own (or you can wait until loads of cheap, lightly-used Concept2 Model Ds, come up for sale after the upcoming 2013 CRASH-B World Indoor Rowing Championships).

But, you are officially warned — you know what you’ll be in for.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

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The Reebok Spartan Race is Sparta! This is Sparta!

danKruegerSuperSpartan 300x300 The Reebok Spartan Race is Sparta! This is Sparta!My former Director of Client Services, Dan Krueger, is a brick shithouse. He literally looks like a character from the movie 300. When I met him he was kind of a dump, a little bit of a schlub, like I am now. That’s him to the right: commando!

Now, he’s promoting the Reebok Spartan Race, one of those cool obstacle races that have become so fashionable and such an important part of the CrossFit obsession and lifestyle.

To be honest, I am single and not getting any younger so I am going to go for it myself! Work on my inner studmuffin — the lad I used to be when I rowed in college. And I want you to do it too — and as an incentive, I would like to give the first person to comment who can commit to a race in Chicago, Virginia, Wisconsin, Philly, or Nebraska a free race code as a giveaway.  Here’s a short movie that gives you some insight into what the Spartan Race is all about:

 

Make sure you’ll be able to make the race. Here’s all the cool information about the Reebok Spartan Race, about the events, and just about anything else you’ll need.

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The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?

s GLOBAL COMMUNITY large17 The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?
I think “realness” is what’s required in online communications, just realness according to protocol. One cannot be rude. One cannot be uncouth. One should be tonally perfect when it comes to communicating online but don’t let that stop you — making mistakes (and copping to them, acknowledging them, and accepting them) is normal. But “normalspeak” is essential. Online chat and conversation is not, no matter what anyone tries to sell you, is not formal written communication. It shouldn’t be. It cannot be. Being stiff and inaccessible is almost worst than being tone-deaf.
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The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?

s GLOBAL COMMUNITY large18 The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?
Well, desirability breeds solution: JPOP have single-handedly driven many a Gaijin to learn Kanji, Kana, Hiragana, and Katakana in order to bridge the divide. And people want to — and not only because Japanese is awesome and has a right tradition and cool pop music. I grew up in Hawaii and know the Japanese culture very well, though only once-removed. Most of my relationships with the Japanese culture and with Japanese people were 1st and 2nd generation. That’s another issue: how close are you, really? I am pretty darn close to understanding the Japanese culture but I know nothing about culture in Japan. And the question is: how far down the rabbit hole does one go before one initiates a social media campaign?
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 The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?
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The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?

s GLOBAL COMMUNITY large16 The Online Community Is Inexorably Global: Are You?You can spread your work and/or content over multiple platforms, languages, cultures, etc, but you’re going to need to customize it in the way your target market expects. Case-in-point: I saw WALL-E in a Berlin Cinema in Germany. The movie was made in “Hollywood,” right? Well, remember in WALL-E how many brands and billboards and all of that — all the signage — that was in the scenery of the movie? Well, Disney created a German-only or German-speaking-country-only version resplendent with German-language branding as well as all supporting aspects custom-tailored to German children, including a very close dub — not a heavy-handed dub… it might have even been mouthed to the German words. It was the first time I have seen this sort of customization. Germans HATE subtitles so there are a lot of very terrible dub-jobs going on on TV and the cinema and this wasn’t that.
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